Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Happy Post!!!

Most of the time I fell decidedly UNhappy with this whole grueling process, and I get the feeling it may show through in my writing.  So since I am no longer chronically completely dehydrated or starving to death, let's have a happy post for once with all of the GOOD things going on in my life.

- My husband, NM, is doing really, really well at work.  He has been promoted and received a raise, with the option for more good things in the future and things like a bonus every month.  Big sigh of relief on the financial front; we are by no means rolling in riches, but we're feeling less poor and this will help with the financial impact the HG has had.

- I gained weight!  As I have said before, I lost 10 kg/22 lbs at the beginning of this pregnancy (same overall weight loss as last time, but this time I started out slightly heavier).  Well in the last week or so (I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow) I have started to gain back some of what I lost!  To anyone who has ever dealt with HG, you know how big of an accomplishment this is and how much it means.  Last time I didn't start gaining until 22+ weeks, and never got beyond my pre-pregnancy weight.

- I'm 20 weeks tomorrow!  That's the halfway point, and the second half (for me) is decidedly better than the first half.  Just three more weeks until my anatomy scan to check up on the Brownie, and just four weeks until viability.  Once you reach the point of viability, even though 24 weeks is NOT something you want to be looking at, it's such a relief to know that you've gone through all this pain and suffering and even if something goes wrong now, you still have a chance to get a live child out of it all.

- Work for me has been going really well as well and has been very busy, so my paychecks should be quite reasonable.  I work as a freelance transcriber and editor, so I get paid by the file - the more I take on, the more I get paid.  I have been very lucky to be very busy lately, and that will be really good for our bank account.

- Our 2.5-year-old daughter, LH, is awesome as usual. :)

- I've been able to eat more in the last two weeks than I ate probably in all the 15 before that.  Now THAT's an accomplishment!

- The Brownie gives me plenty of jabs and does plenty of somersaults to let me know that everything is good and that he/she appreciates the food I've been sending down there for supper.

- I have still been unable to reduce my Zofran dosage, even by a tiny amount, but at least I have good insurance coverage so I only pay a fraction of the cost.  If I have to stay on it long-term, at least I won't go bankrupt for it.

And now I've run out of happy happy things to write, but I think I made a pretty good list of it. :)  For any other sufferers out there, I can only hope and pray that you also have an improvement in your symptoms.  I know that not everyone does, and I count myself very lucky that I have.  Stay strong, mamas!  You can do it!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Insomnia Woes

Much of my first pregnancy is a bit hazy, due partially to the wonderful fact that God seems to have created women to forget these difficult stages of life, and partially because I have intentionally blocked out all of the suffering.  So when people ask me specific questions about how this one compares to the previous one, I sometimes have trouble answering them clearly.

For example, right now I'm suffering from insomnia.  I fall asleep quite easily at night, but only stay asleep for around three hours before waking up and staying that way until shortly before I have to wake my toddler for my husband to take her to daycare.  Aside from the fact that this is annoying and I'm always exhausted, this also has the effect of making all of my oh-so-wonderful symptoms worse.  Your body just can't do what it needs to do if you don't give it the tools to do so - and one of the most important tools is rest.

I can't for the life of me remember if I had the same sleeping issues last time.  I don't really think that I did, but I honestly have no recollection.  Of course things were different back then, as I had neither a job nor an older child to care for, so even if I couldn't sleep at night it wouldn't have been the end of the world and I could have made it up a bit during the day.  But I just don't know.

Any brilliant suggestions that anyone has, preferably without further medicating myself, are more than welcome...no matter how much I've improved recently, nothing good is going to come of it if I can't get proper rest.  Ah, the wonderful joys of pregnancy.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

19 Weeks, We're Getting There!

Today I am officially 19 weeks along.  Yay!  One more week until the halfway mark, five more weeks until viability, and more weeks than I care to write until the babe himself is here.  But the point is, we're getting there!

In the past nine days, I have had a significant improvement.  I still am not gaining weight (total weight loss of 10kg/22lbs), but I am also not losing.  One day I tried to reduce one dose of zofran slightly, and that didn't go too well.  Heartburn is increasing, but so is my teeny tiny little pregnant belly.  My belly is slightly larger than it was with L.H., so I'm taking that as a good sign.

I can eat more overall (around 1500 calories a day now, yay!), and I can also eat a larger variety of foods.  The past couple of days protein has been staying in the best, so that's what I'm eating.  I'm not going to go into details of specific foods, in case an HG sufferer is reading this...no need to cause you any more issues than you're already having!

My big issue right now, which of course makes all other issues worse, is that I am having an incredibly difficult time sleeping at night and I have no clue why or how to improve the situation.  I fall asleep just fine and sleep really well for around three hours before waking up and, for the most part, failing to fall asleep again.  As you can imagine, this makes all of the bodily aches and pains, the nausea, and my general mood and ability to cope much worse.

We're still taking it one day at a time, but now I have hope (which is a much bigger thing than it sounds like, to anyone to has never been through this).  I still spend a lot of time fantasizing about the birth and planning different scenarios for how it can go down, but I also plan some more short-term things, like maybe this afternoon I'll go to the grocery store across the street to pick up three foods I think I can eat.  I can now walk into the store without automatically vomiting, so we're really making progress.

My improvement this time came several weeks earlier than it did last time, and it is also a much more marked improvement than last time.  Of course, until I start managing to put on a little weight and hopefully manage to reduce my zofran by at least a little, I won't feel quite like I've halfway beat HG.  But in the meantime, I'm doing my best and fighting as hard as I can to bring this little life into the world.

Anatomy scan coming up soon (we wound up skipping the first one this time because I couldn't physically get over to the doctor's office to pick up the referral).  My last u/s showed a healthy baby who measured about a week ahead, so apparently whatever it is that I'm doing is working for the baby, even if it's not working for me.  Hopefully the good news about this wriggly little creature will keep pouring in.

I hope that all fellow sufferers out there are doing okay, and that even if you don't wind up with such a wonderful improvement like I have this time, that you at least have your fair share of good days.

Monday, April 8, 2013

18 weeks and slightly less miserable

I know that it's been forever since I wrote anything here, and you'd think that while I'm suffering from this oh-so-wonderful malady would be the perfect time to tell you all exactly how it is.  Truth be told, I keep thinking of posts to write, and then when it actually comes down to it I decide not to.  It's depressing enough to be going through all of this; I don't always want to also be hashing it out in words on the internet.

So let's just say this.  Life has been super super sucky, but I'm starting to improve.  The Brownie is perfectly healthy and growing very nicely (is actually measuring about a week ahead, and since there was some question as to my dates to begin with, now I am thoroughly confused about how far along I am).  I have an itty bitty tummy poking out of my bony body.  While I am managing to eat and drink enough to keep going, I have been completely unsuccessful at putting on any weight, and so I am still at -10kg (-22lbs) from where I started.  Lovely.

I'm working pretty much full time to what I usually do, but since I work from home and can work in bed, that's no biggie in the grand scheme of things.  Our bank account is looking pretty sad because at the beginning I really couldn't work at all, plus of course zofran takes a big chunk out of it every month.  Oh, zofran.  How I love you.

I went to the doctor last week for a regular check up, and she sent me straight on to an emergency center for hydration (a lovely relative decided to share a stomach virus with me).  One blown vein and one bag of IV fluids later, my urinalysis came back exactly the same as before the fluids.  And they discharged me anyways.  I don't really know why they sent me home like that, as I'm still struggling to make up the lost fluids now, almost a week later.  Oh well, I have survived and shall continue to do so.

So that's a quick summary.  I have very little desire to go ahead and detail my living hell while I'm still living through it.  Afterwards it can be therapeutic, but during it just makes me feel worse.  I am NOT doing this again any time soon....