High Risk

What do you think of when you hear the term "high risk obstetrics"?  What does it bring to your mind?  Before now, I always thought of someone pregnant with multiples, someone with underlying health issues that can complicate matters, someone with God knows what complication that I don't even know about.

But I never thought about me.

It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that yes, I actually did have a high risk pregnancy due to the HG.  The second OB I saw (I switched after the first OB didn't give me proper care) was indeed a high risk OB, but at the time I kind of just thought that was a great perk, not a necessary measure.

It can be very difficult to come to terms with the fact that despite having no underlying conditions, despite having an otherwise model pregnancy (if you completely ignore everything HG-related), I now have to consider myself high risk and plan accordingly.  The second I have a positive pregnancy test, I need to beg for an immediate appointment with the doctor and get my meds all lined up, among the other zillion things that I will need to do.

I don't like the term "high risk".  It makes me feel like there is danger, where all I want to do is block it all out and pretend that nothing is happening and that life will just be perfect.