Tuesday, May 1, 2012

"Just get over it already"

I was just downstairs speaking with a relative of N, who is over right now to babysit to that I can get some work done.  She so kindly brought over some fish and some soup for us to eat.  When I mentioned that I haven't really been into fish since my pregnancy, her response was "just get over it already.  Pregnancy is the only way to make babies.  You don't have a choice.  So just get over it."

Aside from the fact that there are other ways to get children (like surrogacy or adoption), I can't just "get over it".  It was a very traumatic experience in many ways and has shaped both my life and my marriage.  I can't just throw away an important piece of my personal history because someone thinks I should eat fish.  I never liked fish to begin with and only ate it for a few years.  I don't miss it.

The fish really isn't the point, though.  HG, along with every other serious illness, has long-lasting and long-reaching effects.  Just as you wouldn't tell someone who survived cancer to "just get over it" or you wouldn't tell someone who suffered a heart attack to "just get over it", you also can't tell an HG sufferer or survivor to "just get over it".

If you have HG with one pregnancy, then the odds are against you for having subsequent normal pregnancies.  I am well aware of this fact.  I am hoping and praying for only the best pregnancies in the future, but I am also very aware of the other possibility and am preparing myself accordingly.  My doctor agrees with me (and she gave me even slimmer odds of avoiding it in the future than what the HER foundation website provides), so I really don't care what other relatives think of it.  Sometimes I just wish that they would shut up and leave me be to do what I need to do without being made to feel guilty for it.

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